Here is some recent dieting advice I've received:
Look at yourself naked in the mirror. Face the bitter truth in all its shocking horror.
Don't wear stretch pants to the all you can eat buffet. Uhh...ok.
Wear those pants that are a smidge too tight. It'll constantly remind you that you've gained.
Eat smaller meals more often to increase the metabolism in your body. That's hard for me especially if I'm not hungry every three hours.
Exercise at least 30 minutes three times a week. That one I can handle.